3.31.2006
a history of violence
so i've been hearing about this movie. it's supposed to be one on the best movies of 2005. according to the dvd cover, it was on over 150 top ten lists. this tells me two things: 2005 was a shitty year for movies, and the critics must've not have seen the movie that i just watched.
at the end of the movie, when the screen went black, i just stared at it for a moment with an incredulous look on my face like, "what the hell? is that it?" and the knuckle heads that made that mess knew they were wrong 'cause there was at least 10 seconds of black between the last scene and the credits. makes me wish i'd seen it on the big screen so i could have shared my dissappointment with fellow moviegoers.
oh, and i'll be adding this movie to my list of shitty (or just plain weird) movies with no black characters. not that i think one has anything to with the other, but it is a fascinating coincidence. other movies on the list: identity, and the hills have eyes. (more complete list to come.)
lesson learned... don't buy movies you haven't seen on dvd 'cause if it sucks you're stuck with it. oh well.
at the end of the movie, when the screen went black, i just stared at it for a moment with an incredulous look on my face like, "what the hell? is that it?" and the knuckle heads that made that mess knew they were wrong 'cause there was at least 10 seconds of black between the last scene and the credits. makes me wish i'd seen it on the big screen so i could have shared my dissappointment with fellow moviegoers.
oh, and i'll be adding this movie to my list of shitty (or just plain weird) movies with no black characters. not that i think one has anything to with the other, but it is a fascinating coincidence. other movies on the list: identity, and the hills have eyes. (more complete list to come.)
lesson learned... don't buy movies you haven't seen on dvd 'cause if it sucks you're stuck with it. oh well.
3.30.2006
sunny
every once in a while, i roll out of bed with a smile on my face. these are usually days when the sun is already out and shining, or days when i know what i'm going to wear before i find myseld standing in my closet ass naked and running late.
today is one of those days. so matter how the rest of the day goes, at least it started out right.
103 jamz old school joint of the day: Jeru the Damaja "Come Clean" (that's good shit)
today is one of those days. so matter how the rest of the day goes, at least it started out right.
103 jamz old school joint of the day: Jeru the Damaja "Come Clean" (that's good shit)
3.29.2006
closure
i've been stuck in relationship purgatory for some time now. i know all of the tired post-relationship cliches. the ones i've heard most often are "it just takes time" and "you just need to meet someone new." well, i don't have time - i'm in school and i need my brain back. and i don't want to meet anyone new because if i had the time to do that i probably wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.
for the past three months or so, i've been beating myself up over it. what could i have done differently? is it really over? was it real or just a figment of my imagination? then other folks start popping up - old crushes, exes, friends that would've been crushes if it weren't for the exes, etc. then i get to thinking about all the people i dropped like a bad habit for getting in the way.
today, i finally had an epiphany - one of those moments when you actually come to believe something that part of you knew was true all along.
transience. people come and go. be they lovers, friends, or acquaintances. this is hard for me to deal with because i'm such an introvert. those that know me (there can't be more than 5 people on this planet that can make that claim, and none are related to me), know that the public persona is merely an alter ego. every once in a while, someone comes along and brings me out of my shell. if our paths cross at the right time, there are moments of comfort, support, companionship. it is during these moments that life becomes a bit more meaningful, and for a brief moment i stop trying to take on the world by myself. this connection is a rare and special occurrence. every time it happens, it should be appreciated. no regrets. so in hindsight, i consider myself lucky to have shared my life with another one of the 6 billion souls on this planet. sometimes i let them down. sometimes they let me down. but each of us did the best we could, for ourselves, and for each other. at the end of the day, we're mere humans. every once in a while, my best is not good enough. and neither is theirs. and that is ok.
...that feels better.
"i have no lid upon my head but if i did, you could look inside and see what's on my mind."
for the past three months or so, i've been beating myself up over it. what could i have done differently? is it really over? was it real or just a figment of my imagination? then other folks start popping up - old crushes, exes, friends that would've been crushes if it weren't for the exes, etc. then i get to thinking about all the people i dropped like a bad habit for getting in the way.
today, i finally had an epiphany - one of those moments when you actually come to believe something that part of you knew was true all along.
transience. people come and go. be they lovers, friends, or acquaintances. this is hard for me to deal with because i'm such an introvert. those that know me (there can't be more than 5 people on this planet that can make that claim, and none are related to me), know that the public persona is merely an alter ego. every once in a while, someone comes along and brings me out of my shell. if our paths cross at the right time, there are moments of comfort, support, companionship. it is during these moments that life becomes a bit more meaningful, and for a brief moment i stop trying to take on the world by myself. this connection is a rare and special occurrence. every time it happens, it should be appreciated. no regrets. so in hindsight, i consider myself lucky to have shared my life with another one of the 6 billion souls on this planet. sometimes i let them down. sometimes they let me down. but each of us did the best we could, for ourselves, and for each other. at the end of the day, we're mere humans. every once in a while, my best is not good enough. and neither is theirs. and that is ok.
...that feels better.
"i have no lid upon my head but if i did, you could look inside and see what's on my mind."
3.28.2006
random list #2 - people with addictions that i admire
miles davis
jimi hendrix
robert nesta marley
jimi hendrix
all were brilliant... there's hope for me.
jimi hendrix
robert nesta marley
jimi hendrix
all were brilliant... there's hope for me.
random list #1 - things i'm addicted to
sleep
mcdonald's
newports
sitting on my ass staring into space
contemplating the meaning of life
mind-altering substances
driving fast
mcdonald's
newports
sitting on my ass staring into space
contemplating the meaning of life
mind-altering substances
driving fast
fight night round 3
a few weeks ago i bought 'fight night round 3' for ps2. i was sorely dissappointed... there wasn't much improvement over 'fight night 2,' and game takes forever to load between cut scenes.
then yesterday, my brother shows me a demo of 'fight night round 3' for xbox 360. daaaaamn...
not only was the game play 10x faster, but i could see the little hairs in roy jones jr.'s fade.
lessons learned: life ain't fair, and i need a new xbox.
then yesterday, my brother shows me a demo of 'fight night round 3' for xbox 360. daaaaamn...
not only was the game play 10x faster, but i could see the little hairs in roy jones jr.'s fade.
lessons learned: life ain't fair, and i need a new xbox.
3.27.2006
another wasted day
i tried to be productive today. really, i did. i tried to crack a textbook, read a case, prepare for class. but there's basketball on and the real world/road rules finale. oh well...
maybe we'll do better tomorrow... oh wait, doesn't tennessee play tomorrow night? damn.
maybe we'll do better tomorrow... oh wait, doesn't tennessee play tomorrow night? damn.
3.24.2006
foggy.
can i live
reminds me of my 757 boy
we used to rock the cavalier room
kickin' people in the head
wilin' out and what not
these things resurface from time to time
some people have the ability to bring me out of my shell
he was good at that
he came back
and that's good
'cause i missed him
why did duke and gonzaga lose?
why did both of the white boy all-americans cry as their ball playing days come to an end?
shit, i'd be crying too dog
bracket --> fucked
BC and UCONN can redeem me but i still won't win no money
maybe next year
go hoos
i like the holidays
the holidays are a good time to shack up
why does alex s like ATCQ's Midnight Marauders?
and de la soul?
i am most content when i am in my happy place
goodnight love
reminds me of my 757 boy
we used to rock the cavalier room
kickin' people in the head
wilin' out and what not
these things resurface from time to time
some people have the ability to bring me out of my shell
he was good at that
he came back
and that's good
'cause i missed him
why did duke and gonzaga lose?
why did both of the white boy all-americans cry as their ball playing days come to an end?
shit, i'd be crying too dog
bracket --> fucked
BC and UCONN can redeem me but i still won't win no money
maybe next year
go hoos
i like the holidays
the holidays are a good time to shack up
why does alex s like ATCQ's Midnight Marauders?
and de la soul?
i am most content when i am in my happy place
goodnight love
3.22.2006
word of the day
fresh { fre SH }
1 not previously known or used; new or different
2 recently created or experienced and not faded or impaired
(of food) recently made or obtained
(of a person) full of energy and vigor
(of color or a person's complexion) bright or healthy in appearance
(of a person) attractively youthful and inexperienced
3 (of water) not salty
pleasantly clean, pure, and cool
4 (of the wind) cool and fairly strong
stay fresh.
1 not previously known or used; new or different
2 recently created or experienced and not faded or impaired
(of food) recently made or obtained
(of a person) full of energy and vigor
(of color or a person's complexion) bright or healthy in appearance
(of a person) attractively youthful and inexperienced
3 (of water) not salty
pleasantly clean, pure, and cool
4 (of the wind) cool and fairly strong
stay fresh.
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